


Flip of the Coin

by museless22



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, dubcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-21 07:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/museless22/pseuds/museless22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Mr. Gold told him it would separate the evil from his mother's heart, Henry hadn't realized he'd meant it quite so literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Good I guess. I just... I want everyone to be happy. Together. I want her to be happy. I want my mom back. Before all the evil." Henry knew that technically there hadn't been a _before_ , she had always been evil he just hadn't always know that she was, but it still felt like there had been two separate people in his life. The woman who had taught him how to tie his shoes, kissed every single cut, sung him to sleep at night and then the Queen, the woman who lied, cursed an entire world and made him feel crazy. He loved her still, both ways, but the second bore far more complexities. It was hard to trust her. It was hard not to. And it was hard to see how miserable and alone she was. He remembered that feeling well; Not having any friends, watching all the other kids play and be happy.

Henry sighed into his soda, using the straw to blow bubbles in the fizzy brown liquid. He hadn't meant to drag out his answer to such a simple question --'And how have you been doing, young master Henry?'- but it felt good to get it out there. Even if it was just to Mr. Gold.

He couldn't bring it up with Emma; She was trying so hard already to make sure she was everything he needed. Couldn't dare mention it to his grandparents; Snow's quiet rage that surfaced any time Regina's name came up bordered on scary. And his mother... He didn't even know how to talk to her anymore. When he visited they were like two strangers, shy and uncertain.

Granny scowled as she unceremoniously plopped a steaming to-go cup on the counter before the pawnbroker, a dark glint in her eye as she declared that they'd recently started charging extra for lids.

"Just this morning I expect, eh Eugenia?" Gold said, sticky sweet tone voided by the snarling twist of his lips as he forked over the extra coins.

Henry ducked his head to hide his smile as Granny merely shrugged, stern expression never lifting though there was obvious glee in the eyes behind her spectacles as she palmed the man's money. "Maybe next time I'll charge you for the cup."

After she had gone Gold pulled the cup towards himself, lifting the lid and inspecting the black coffee within with a wrinkled nose, as though he half expected it to be poisoned. It seemed to pass his scrutiny and he covered it again, long fingers running around the lip to ensure it was secure. "You know, I may just have a solution to your little problem."

Henry glanced at him sideways, churning his straw through the ice in his glass. "Really?" He hadn't been looking for one and he couldn't imagine what form it might take, but Mr. Gold had helped with the nightmares hadn't he?

"Certainly. Why don't you stop by my shop later and I'll show you?"

"Um... Okay. Sure."

"Wonderful." Mr. Gold backed away from the counter, leaning heavily upon his cane, and took a hearty sip of his coffee. The expression on his face was the most undignified Henry had ever seen it, eyes wide as he immediately spit it out again. "Hot! Ahhhg!"

Somewhere in the back Granny cackled.

########

Later ended up being the next day, between school and meeting Emma for dinner at the diner. His backpack was a reassuringly familiar weight on his back and he clung to the straps at his shoulders as he pushed open the shop door.

Henry had never before experienced any thing approaching trepidation when entering the pawn shop but now, armed with the knowledge that all of the artifacts within contained very real magical history, every dark corner sent a little thrill down his spine. What did that hat in the corner do? And those puppets, had they been real people once? A baby's mobile, as one might place above a crib, hung from the ceiling and he reached out to touch the little glass figurines strung from it. They were cut in the shape of animals, blue and perfect, and they caught and reflected the shop's dim light in a way that made them almost seem to glow.

"Best not touch that, dearie. Very fragile."

Henry jumped back as though burned, heart thundering in his ears as Mr. Gold stepped out from behind the heavy curtain that separated the back of his shop from the rest. "Sorry."

"No matter. I have what you're looking for, just here." He opened one of the glass display cases alongside the register and Henry approached cautiously, sneakers scuffing across the floor.

The trinket was no bigger than the palm of Henry's hand though it was near as heavy as one of the hefty paperweights his mother kept on her desk. He wrapped his fingers around it as Mr. Gold gently deposited it in his grasp, frowning down at the twisted golden shape. At first he thought it was just a knot, vaguely cross shaped, but upon closer inspection he realized it was a snake, wrapped around and around and swallowing the tip of its own tail. The details were spectacular, each teeny little scale lovingly carved. It could have been a real serpent coiled there in his hand, if not for the cold metal of it. It was almost unnaturally cold, in fact, tingling oddly against his skin.

"What is it?"

"Just a charm."

"And what'll it do exactly?" Henry turned it round in his palm, wondering at the snakes beady little eyes. It was almost creepy how lifelike it looked.

"Exactly what you asked for. It will separate the evil from the Queen's heart."

Henry wanted to point out that he hadn't asked for that, not exactly, but the promise sounded too good to be true. Could it be that easy? Just wish it away? "Will it... Will it hurt?"

Mr. Gold smiled and Henry was struck for a moment with how closely his eyes resembled that of the snake. But that was silly, of course. He was just a man. A man who could make extraordinary things happen.

"Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. All that, hm, _bad stuff_ , will simply be gone. Free as a bird, she'll be."

"What do you want for it?" Because there was always something, right? No one ever got something from Mr. Gold for free.

Except his nightmare necklace. Henry's free hand unconsciously reached for where the bauble, removed in the daytime, would rest. That had turned out alright.

"My reward will be in the results, Henry."

Henry stared at the charm a moment longer before slowly sliding it into his coat pocket. He could always just not use it. "Okay. What do I do with it exactly?"

"Just slip it under the pillow she uses for sleeping. The next day the results should be... Apparent."

"Thanks."

"I truly do wish to see you happy, Henry. I hope you know that."

Henry merely nodded and fled the shop, already sure to be late to meet Emma.

########

"What held you up?" The sheriff asked, blond brows climbing toward her hairline as Henry slid into the booth across from her. He wrestled with his ungainly backpack for a moment in the confined space between table edge and seat, finally resting the behemoth from his shoulders and tossing it aside. The jacket, curiously, remained on, one hand shoved in the front pocket.

"Oh, uhhhh... I was just talking to Gretel. She's really cool."

"Really cool, huh?" Emma smiled at him fondly, though her heart clenched a little bit in her chest. Was he really old enough to be interested in girls already? Maybe she could snag some fairy dust and make him small and cute and innocent forever. She was sure that was a thing.

"Yeah. We like the same comics." He shrugged noncommittally as Ruby deposited their usual- hot chocolate and burgers for both- on the table before them.

"Just promise me you won't start dating until you're eighteen. Twenty. Forty. You're not allowed to date until you're forty."

Henry's little face scrunched up adorably with disgust. "Eeew I don't wanna date her. She's just cool is all."

"You say that now." Emma sighed, flicking a fry across the table at him. His giggle warmed her in ways she never could have imagined when she'd given up.

Fairy dust. Had to be a thing.

########

Henry kept the charm in his pocket, reaching for it at intervals to trace his fingers over the heavy weight of it. When the weekend came and he was handed over to his mother, who groused at Emma for being relegated to "weekend dad", he still hadn't arrived at a firm decision.

They sat silent across from one another through dinner, macaroni and cheese which she hated but he loved, silent and awkward. Every time he looked up she was watching him, dark eyes impossible to read as her fork scraped across the food she hadn't touched and she was thinner, he realized, than could possible be healthy. Dark circles bruised her eyes and really, she wasn't living at all, was she? Trapped in an empty house alone day after day, not even work to keep her busy.

Henry set his cutlery aside suddenly, face pinched as he asked in a voice that sounded small to his own ears, "Mom, are you happy?"

"I'm with you, dear. Of course I'm happy." Her eyes lit up then but her smile was tight and sad and Henry's heart ached.

_'It'll make all the bad stuff go away.'_

Maybe people would like her, if the evil was gone. She wouldn't hate anyone and she could go outside and be a person again instead of just a shadow.

He did it while she was in the shower, careful to rearrange the pillow exactly as it had been once the charm had been slid into place. There was no hum, no trill of magic but he trusted it would work as promised. He smoothed the pillow case's silken surface, nodding to himself.

If it could somehow bleed the evil from her heart maybe she could be happy again.


	2. Chapter 2

Usually with Henry in the house, safe and close enough to touch if she so chose, her sleep was far more sound. It was never completely solid or restful but it _was_ better. That night, however, was restless and filled with twisted, broken dreams, like an image reflected on shards of broken glass; connected, somehow, but disjointed beyond recognition. When she finally clawed her way back into consciousness there was a faint, uncomfortable throbbing behind her temples and... a warm body at her back that definitely hadn't been there when she had drifted off the night before.

Regina froze, thinking she must still be half asleep and imagining things, but then the other shifted, drawing away the very real body heat she had felt with a creak of the mattress.

A little smile danced across her lips as she realized Henry must have had a nightmare and sought her out in the middle of the night. It had been years since he had come flying into her arms crying about monsters in the closet but maybe they were finally back to a place where he trusted her to comfort him.

Or maybe she was just the closest substitute for Emma, the mother he wanted.

Sobered, Regina rolled over and reached for him, determined to enjoy it either way, but her fingers stopped just short of grasping the shoulder waiting for her. That definitely wasn't Henry.

She wracked her brain for an explanation to the feminine body now stretched languidly across the other side of her mattress but came up empty. She'd had a drink the night before, sure. Maybe two. Not enough to have abandoned her son and gone out in search of a warm body to drag into her bed and then forget about it. Assuming there was even anyone left in this gods forsaken town who would volunteer for such.

Her thoughts flew, of their own accord, to Emma but that made little sense either and anyway this woman had dark hair very much unlike the Savior's and now that she thought about it those were the same pajamas she herself was wearing and a very familiar scar rippled across the dark skin of the woman's shoulder blades. Identical, in fact, to the one Regina bore and went out of her way to avoid looking at. The first, she knew, of many such blemishes that marred an otherwise flawless back, though the rest were hidden beneath soft cotton.

Half convinced she was hallucinating, Regina stretched her fingers across to prod the familiar form, only having managed to confirm that it was, in fact, solid when a whirlwind of movement sent her flying backwards. The other, the creature that bore her face and flesh, had her pinned before she could even register the movement, knees on either side of her hips and solid weight trapping her in place, fingernails digging into wrists shoved above her head. Lips she saw in the mirror every day drew back over teeth, curling in a snarl, dark eyes hard and angry. "What is this? What are you?"

Regina had no chance to answer, even if she had known what to say; The other shifted to grip her wrists one handed and the limb left free trailed down and seized her throat in a bruising grip, harsh fingertips squeezing so she couldn't draw breath let alone utter a sound. A pathetic wheeze escaped her lips as those fingers drew tighter still, her vision popping and swimming darkly. Regina bucked and thrashed to no avail, cold terror the likes of which she hadn't experienced since she had been small and first been left to dangle on magical hooks for her disobedience pooled in her stomach and spread tingling through her limbs.

The other leaned close, face twisted in something like discomfort. Hissed breath washed hot over Regina's face and the pressure alleviated just enough for a pained inhale.

"Are you supposed to be _me_?" It was so strange, to hear her own voice from outside herself. And when the other laughed, sharp and void of humor, she wondered if she really sounded so cold.

"What a pathetic copy. Who sent you, hmmm? Snivelling little thing. Is this meant to be a joke?"

Regina shook her head, gasping as the other flexed her fingers. "I d- I don't know-I'm not-"

"Or perhaps a present. I'll admit it is a treat." The hand abandoned her throat, trailing down Regina's chest to play at the skin just above where the fabric of of her tank top started and Regina thrashed again in earnest.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not a very good present are we, dear?"

There was a knock at the bedroom door and they both froze in place as the knob rattled and turned.

"Mom? Are you okay? I thought I heard--?" Henry stuck his head around the door and they were, for a moment, at an odd standoff, the boy staring wide eyed at the two identical expressions of surprise looking back at him. Then the other, the woman that was her but not, sitting on Regina's chest was sent toppling off as she used the moment to her advantage. As the thing's body crashed to the floor Regina tapped into that place deep inside where her magic lay curled in waiting, heart aching at the thought of having to use it but she couldn't let Henry be hurt.

The other, recovered to an almost feline crouch, looked once from boy to mother and then took the decision out of Regina's hands, vanishing in a swirl of purple smoke.

Regina was at Henry's side in an instant and while she knew that it hadn't laid so much as a finger on him that didn't stop the fear nagging at her heart. She ran her fingers through his hair, kissed his cheeks, smoothed the shoulders of his t-shirt. "Oh Henry. Are you alright?"

He winced beneath all of her attention but allowed it. "I'm fine, mom, what was-" He frowned suddenly, the shock he'd worn previously sliding away. What remained behind was, she knew, his guilt face. The one that said, "I snuck candy before dinner." or "I broke something and didn't tell you.".

"Henry, what is it?"

He pushed by her, running to the bed and plunging his hand beneath the pillows. It emerged clutching something that glinted gold in the sunlight now streaming through the crack in the curtains at her window.

"I think I did a thing." He said, turning to frown at her, hand outstretched. "It wasn't meant to- I didn't realize it was going to do that."

Regina took the trinket from his fingers, instantly feeling the magic of enchantment that pulsed through the knotted shape. It's warm glow was enticing, sending tingling awareness across her skin. It looked like, she believed the technical term was, an _ouroboros_ though she had never seen the like of it before and couldn't determine the nature of the spell placed upon it without much closer perusal.

"Henry, where did you get this?" It wasn't all gold, she realised, twisting it around in her palm. Half was silver and she wondered if it was by ware or design.

"I- Can we talk about it later? We should- We need to warn Emma. Before you- she- it does something bad."

He was right of course. Whether or not that woman had in fact somehow been some form of Regina, she knew those eyes. The Queen's eyes. She couldn't remember when her own had softened, if it had been when Henry had first been placed in her arms or later, but she still recognized them. And the Queen broke everything she touched.

"Get dressed. I'll call her on our way to the station."

########

This version of his mother, Henry quickly realized, was vastly different from any other way he had ever seen the woman before.

First it was the snow, which was lovely but hardly worth as much notice as she paid it and really, they didn't have time for the way she'd scooped up a handful and tossed it at him and since when was he the grownup in this relationship? Then it was the tree in town square, which Snow had insisted go up this year inspite of the town's general lack of holiday cheer ("We're whole again, why shouldn't we celebrate?"). She'd parked long enough to have him doing an antsy jig in his seat, staring at the rather impressive pine and its numerous twinkling lights with something like wonder. "It's beautiful. I wonder why I never noticed before?"

And then there was the clinging. She had always had a way of wanting to be close to him but had never before been so _handsy_ about it. Ruffling his hair, hugging his shoulders as they walked from the car to the station. When she offered the flustered Sheriff a genuinely warm greeting (And he half expected poor Emma to get pulled into all the hugging too) if he hadn't known all her "bad stuff" was in human form running around out there somewhere he might have been convinced she was a pod person.

"He-ey guys what's this all about? You said it was an emergency?"

"I messed up." Henry interjected before his mother could say anything, guilt licking at his insides. "I don't know how it happened exactly but there's two of them." he gestured at his mother and Emma's brows quirked in confusion. She stood hands on jean clad hips in the middle of her office, the golden star that had been returned to her only somewhat reluctantly by her father gleaming proudly on her belt. She was going to be so disappointed in him when she realized what he had done.

"Two of-"

"Mom."

"You're not serious. This is a joke right? You're joking." She looked to Regina as though for confirmation but the other woman merely shifted uncomfortably beneath her green eyed gaze.

Henry shook his head, gnawing at his lower lip. "Anyways this is the squishy one. It's the other one we need to worry about."

"Other-?"

Regina tugged at her scarf, revealing a series of purpling, finger shaped bruises up and down her neck. "Other me, Sheriff. We need to find her before someone gets hurt."

That, if nothing else, seemed to convince Emma. His mother never worried after the welfare of any other than herself and Henry. _Squishy indeed_.

The sheriff leaned back against her desk, half sitting on a messy stack of paperwork. “How the hell did this happen? I mean, I know this is crazy magic fairy-tale town but this is weird even for Storybrooke.”

“Well, Mr. Gold said-”

“You went to Gold?!” Of course on this one thing his mothers were united.


	3. Chapter 3

A plume of purple smoke was all the warning he had before he was being bodily pushed back into the cash register, fingernails digging into his lapels and taking out a good chunk of the skin underneath.

"What did you do?!"

"Don't look so affronted, dearie. It's meant to be a spiritual journey. One as two, two as one. Know thyself. So on and so forth. I'll confess I wasn't completely sure what it might do to one with your-well, your particular personality, shall we say, but it wasn't meant to hurt you. It’s a gift."

Gold found himself shoved back harder, cool metal and the edge of the counter digging into his spine. The Queen- And there was no more fitting title to grant the apparition before him- was clearly unamused with his flippancy.

"You mean that thing- That weak, sniveling creature that's with  _my_  son-That's truly a part of me?"

"Look at it this way; Something somewhere had to give. Even your boy could see that. I've given you a unique opportunity. You can do whatever you please, free of everything that was holding you back. You embody everything that I created- Strength, anger, courage, cunning while she holds all your fear, guilt and compassion." All your hope and reason. "Keep her locked away and safe and you're free as a bird. Or... you could embrace her. Follow the journey to its conclusion and show them all just how much you've changed."

“I haven’t changed. People don’t change.”

He smiled and it was almost soft;  _sentimental_. “On that I think we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

#########

“Where would you go? If you were her. I mean-I guess you _are_  her but if you were, ah-”

“Relax, Emma, I understood your meaning.” If she noticed she’d called the Sheriff by her name- no honorifics, titles or malice attached- Regina gave no indication. She made a little humming noise, head tilted back on her shoulders and tongue outstretched to catch the delicate little flakes of snow that had begun to fall in lazy drifts.

In theory, they and Emma’s some odd dozen volunteer deputies- Including a skeptical Snow and a scared and therefore functioning with all the aggression and finesse of a caveman David, which worried Emma if she were being honest; She wasn't sure what would happen if they got it into their heads to kill the "evil twin" and somehow managed to pull it off- were patrolling the town in hopes of catching the doppelganger before any more mischief could come of it.

In theory.

“Ha! This is fantastic. Emma, you have to try it!”

There was no way this woman, this damn near _frolicking_  woman was the Evil Queen turned Mayor who had cursed untold millions. Emma couldn’t recall ever having heard the woman so much as laugh, let alone _this_.

“Can you at least attempt to focus please?”

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m-like I’m eighteen again and the whole world is stretched out in front of me and my life... I can see it and I know it happened but it was just... Like it happened to someone else. Like it was just a bad movie. Movies! Sometimes I think technology is better than magic. When I was queen I could snap my fingers-” And she did, the click turned into a dull thump by her gloves- “and have whoever I wanted entertain me in any way I pleased but television... And lights! Do you have any idea how magnificent lights are? It took me so long to figure everything out. It was embarrassing. I don’t know why I didn’t just invent some new history for myself and have done with it. Life would have been so much easier...”

‘But then you wouldn’t have been able to lord your so called ‘victory’ over everyone.’ Emma thought, but bit her lip just short of the words escaping. Instead she said, “Regina? Potential homicidal maniac on the loose, remember? Can we maybe talk about the magic of electricity later? Swear to god you’re worse than Henry on a sugar rush...”

“Answers.”

“Huh?”

“I would want answers first, if I were her. An explanation for me. And then I would probably come after  _you_ , to be perfectly honest.”

“Me?”

“You are the keeper of my son, Miss Swan.” And suddenly the unbridled joy was gone. “I thought about it so many times. Killing you, your parents, taking him.  He would have to get over it eventually. Who else does he have?”

The fact that Regina sounded deeply remorseful for having harbored such thoughts didn’t stop the chill that settled deep in Emma’s bones on hearing the admission. “Why didn’t you?”

“It's what the Queen would have done but that's not me anymore. It's never who I _wanted_  to be. Somehow that got all mixed up but I'm trying. I want to be better. I want to be someone he could love."

She glanced sideways at Emma, teeth digging into her bottom lip in an expression that was suddenly strangely shy. “Also...”

“What?”

“Ah... Well, let’s just avoid leaving you alone with her, hmm?”

“Oooo-kay. No objections here.”

Emma wanted more. It was the first meaningful conversation they'd had since Emma had essentially grunted her way through thanking the other woman for not killing her with a giant magical portal blocker thingy (If there was an actual technical term for such things, damned if she knew it.), something just above, "Hey it's cool how you saved our lives. You don't seem so buahaha evil now, and hey, the kid loves ya', so dinner maybe There'stalkofcake.". She had questions that this Regina might actually answer and they all bubbled to the surface at once.

They were put on hold, however, by  a sudden explosion of glass onto the street in front of them. There was no smoke, no fire; Somehow all the windows of Gold’s shop had combusted all at once seemingly of their own accord.

_Magic_. She could almost taste it on the air, in that weird tingling that ran down her spine when it was used in her proximity. No matter how zany things got Emma was never going to get used to that.

Broken glass crunched and cracked beneath Emma’s boot heels as she cautiously approached the storefront, hand instinctively reaching for her sidearm. She was greeted by the sight of a slightly shell shocked Mr. Gold, on the floor and leaning up against the back counter with the splintered halves of his cane in either hand.

Broken baubles littered the ground, the numerous and sundry junk of another world broken and scattered like the wreckage left in the wake of a tornado. Her boot connected with a guitar, the neck of which hung on only by the strings.

No Regina.

Well, other than the one that had just stumbled into Emma's back.

“Oh! Are you alright?”

Emma watched with something approaching exasperation as the woman tripped her way over the wreckage to Gold’s side, kneeling down to sling an arm around the man’s slender torso and helping him clamber to his feet.

Emma was pretty sure they didn’t owe the man any favors in this instance. It was his own damned fault .

“I’m sorry! It wasn’t me but it was  _me_  and I- Sorry.”

“Oy, woman. His sorry ass put us in this situation to begin with.” Emma grumbled, kicking the broken instrument aside. The resulting clang made Gold wince. “Let him sit there for a minute.”

“He was my friend once.” Regina’s voice sounded small, hands fluttering over the man’s shoulders to brush at dust that may or may not have actually been there. “At least I thought he was.”

“Fine.” Emma shoved her hands in her back pockets, the better to make them behave. She’d had cause on many occasion to want to throttle this man over the last few months but somehow today it was particularly acute. Goddamned puppet master with his hands on all the strings. It didn’t help that he seemed so human, slumped and struggling around whatever old injury ailed his leg. It was hard to hate someone who looked so positively frail. “She was here, I take it?”

“Yes. And no, I don’t know where she went.”

#######

_“If one dies, so does the other.”_

_“You can’t just smack them back together, Sheriff. She has to have an epiphany, in her own time. I would suggest perhaps binding the other half? It can’t be forced but if you can get them in the same room together without anyone getting hurt that would be a fine start.”_

Right and in the meantime they were just supposed to wait while the darkest parts of Regina’s soul ran around and did whatever she pleased.

Which might have actually been more tolerable if the woman had  _done_  something. Emma felt like she was waiting for a non existent boogey man. If not for the obvious damage left in her wake at the pawn shop Emma might have thought Gold, Henry and Regina were sharing some weird sort of delusion.

So Emma paced, the pouch of fairy dust that Blue had given her for the task heavy on her hip while Henry and Regina bonded over Mario Kart in the background. The boy’s free laughter, something she hadn’t realized had been missing lately until she’d heard it that night, and the way the former Queen seemed constantly in danger of falling off her seat as she tried to keep her little kart on the track and tilted with the controller might have been endearing if Emma’s nerves hadn’t been so frayed. Hell, she might have snapped some pictures. Blackmail, perfectly packaged.

“Ah! No fair. You cheated. You’re little person has a better car than mine.”

“Nu-uh. You’re just a worse driver.”

“Do not criticize my driving skills, young man. I will end you.”

“Prove it!”

Emma sighed, digging her knuckles into her temples. She had a headache that seemed to dance to the game’s jaunty theme song. “I think I’m going to go jump in the shower. You two alright here?”

“Noooo! You can’t just bounce me off the mushroom like that, that’s so mean!”

“Yes, well, that will teach you, dear. Certainly Sheriff, we’re fine.”

The guest room’s en-suite was blessedly silent and Emma switched the sink on, filling her cupped palms with water before splashing her face with it. The cool water was the soothing balm she’d needed and the headache’s vice seemed to unclench as she buried her nose gratefully in the fluffy hand towel.

She was completely unprepared for the arms that slid around her, one at her neck and one across her hip, and the lips that pressed suddenly against her ear.

“Boo.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

  **WARNING: DUBCON.** It’s not graphic but if that makes you in any way uncomfortable, please steer clear. I want you happy and healthy, k?

########

 

"Shh shh shh, I'll rip that pretty blond head off before you utter the first syllable." The hand at Emma's neck trailed down the column of her throat, the almost intimate caress laced with malice. "Do you really think she would save you anyway? You? The _savior_? I think she'll thank me. She hates you just as much as I do; She's just too spineless to say it."

Emma's belt was unbuckled by deft fingers and unceremoniously ripped away, taking with it the pouch of fairy dust and her sidearm. It landed with a heavy thud, too far away. "You won't be needing that."

Soft lips still pressed against her ear, hissing warm air against her flesh with every husky, seduction dripped word, dark eyes locked with hers through their combined reflection on the mirror.  
Emma could see too just enough of the soft body wrapped ‘around hers like a snake to give her pause; What on earth was the woman _wearing_?

She looked like she very well could have walked right off the page of a fairytale, encased in a corset that barely counted as clothing and, if Emma wasn't mistaken, leather. So much leather.  
The endless array of power suits didn't do the woman justice and of course her traitorous brain would pick that detail to latch onto now, while she was watching smooth, toned shoulders flex around her own neck.

_'Priorities, Swan.'_

_'I wonder where she's been hiding THAT all this time? Sitting at a desk for ten years my ass.'_

"You aren't going to kill me." She bit out, the words coming out raspy as black painted fingernails dug in.

"Not right away." Emma felt a wash of goosebumps run down her spine as a tongue darted out to trace the shell of her ear. "I think I'll make you beg for it."

"You won't. You won't kill me at all."

"Whatever gave you that silly notion, dear?"

"I know you. I know you, Regina. And it doesn't matter how many pieces they split you into, that’s not you. Not anymore.." 

"You know nothing!"

Emma found herself suddenly spun around and shoved against the shower’s sliding doors. The back of her head bounced off the frosted glass with a sharp crack and for a moment she saw stars. The press of Regina’s body crushed against hers kept her upright, an arm barred across her throat with enough force to make her wheeze. 

“You think because I play nice, because I take whatever scraps you doll out so I can see MY son that you have any idea what I am?” The hand that had been at Emma’s throat dug into the skin of her chest, granted easy access by the blond’s thin white tank top. Her grip was hard enough it’d likely bruise, if not rip out a good hunk of Emma’s skin. “Do not imagine for a second that if not for his sake I wouldn’t have ripped your heart out long ago.” Emma couldn’t help the gasp of pain that escaped her lips as sharp fingernails ripped in deep enough to draw blood. “Shall I take your heart, Princess? You’ll be my toy. My pet.”

Could Regina even take her heart? Emma wasn’t sure. Cora hadn’t been able to but then she had never quite figured out if that was some sort of manifestation of her savior power or just a fluke of the moment; Perhaps the strength of her love for Snow had saved her then and without that buffer her heart would be just as pliable as any other.

“Would you like that? Would you like being my pet, Em-ma?”

Emma couldn’t help it; Regina’s face was so close to her own she couldn’t help but look down, couldn’t help but trace red tinted lips with her eyes. Then lower, down to tantalizingly soft flesh barely contained in the corset. She couldn’t help either the way her body reacted to the hard thigh suddenly pressed against her, the way her back arched without her permission. 

She forced her gaze back up to search deep brown eyes but if there was anything in there other than the sparks of quietly smoldering rage Emma couldn’t see it. 

“Regina... Please... You’re better than this-- this two dimensional cartoony villain. I’ve seen it. Come on. We can go get the rest of you and then we’ll find a way to fix this thing, I promise.”

This Regina’s laughter wasn’t anything like what she had heard earlier. It was cold and cruel and just a touch wicked. “Fool girl, you actually care for me, don’t you? What? Did she win you over with her innocence? Bat her lashes until she had you wrapped around her finger? You’ve enjoyed your time with my weakness made flesh, haven’t you? I’ve news for you, Princess; If I’m not real, she isn’t either.”

Regina’s lips crashed hard against Emma’s, bruising in their intensity. Emma thrashed, tried to throw her off, but then found herself pinned in place by magical bonds. Perfect white teeth dug sharp enough into her lower lip to make her cry out then drew away, leaving behind the coppery taste of blood.

“Mmm. I think I’ll leave your heart for now. I want you to feel it. And every time you look at her, all you will see is _me_.” Her lips went this time to Emma’s neck, licking, sucking, nipping until Emma groaned with the pain of it. 

And god help her but she wanted it. She wanted it so bad she could already feel her need pooling wet and hot at her core, near dripping. Even when she was talking about how she might break her Regina was beautiful and the attraction, the purely physical reaction that simmered between them so easily when they argued was still there. Electric, like the magic that she could almost feel beneath Regina’s skin any time they touched.

Slender fingers stole past her waistband and traced light patterns on the sensitive skin there and Emma’s eyes fluttered shut. Her head, she found, she still had control of and she let it rock back against the shower door. 

“D-don’t. Regina-- Ohh.” Those same fingers snuck lower, teased over slick flesh. “P-please...”

“Please what, dear? Please stop? Please fuck me?”

“Please--”

“Emma?”

Neither had heard the hurried footsteps on the stairs or as they crossed the guest room, nor the bathroom door swinging open; They both started at the familiar voice, Emma suddenly freed and nearly slumping in a boneless heap to the floor and Regina withdrawing and whirling to face herself, flame pooling at her fingertips.

Maybe she had heard Emma cry out, or the thud of the blond’s body being thrown around; Emma didn’t know but she’d never been so relieved to see anyone in her life. Her belt with the fairy dust was sprawled on the floor near the door, too far for Emma to have any prayer of reaching but Regina was nearly standing on it, she could do it.

If not for the fact that the woman seemed frozen in the door frame, gaping at her other half with wide eyed terror. Emma had seen her scared before, when Henry was trapped in a mine shaft with his oxygen ticking away, but this was different. It was almost like she couldn’t even move.

“Dust!” Emma’s voice came out raw from the abuse her throat had suffered and she swallowed thickly, wincing against the discomfort. “Regina! The fairy dust! It’s right there!”

Her Regina didn’t move and the other looked like she was seriously contemplating the risk to benefit ratio of setting her on fire; Emma wondered if Gold had imparted to her the knowledge of what would happen if one or the other died.

“Regina!”

In the end it was Henry who saved them, drawn up the stairs by the prolonged absence of both mothers. Emma was a little proud of how quickly he must have taken in the situation. 

He dived past his mother’s legs and scooped up the little leather pouch, immediately pulling loose the strings and plunging his fist inside. There was a moment, the boy on his knees with a handful of dust and the Queen standing over him with flame crackling at her fingertips, when Emma experienced her own wave of terror-- Did Regina’s love for Henry span through both incarnations or was she about to watch her son reduced to ash?-- and then he let his fistful of magic loose and Regina’s body was encased in a pulsing sheath of blue light. Immobilized, just as Blue had promised.

Emma did fall to the ground then, too relieved to care about the sharp pain of knee-cap hitting tile.

“Henry, go call your grandparents. Hopefully their cell thinger is ready.”

########

“I’m sorry.”

Emma was hunched on the edge of the guest bed while they waited for Snow and Charming to arrive, one Regina hovering over her with anxious, fluttering hands while the other was safely shut away in the bathroom; Henry had been banished to his room for the duration.

“Can I-- Is it alright if I-- You’re bleeding. There’s a first aid kit--”

Emma knew what she was really asking, that she was trying to gauge just how traumatized the Sheriff was by the scene she’d stumbled into. If she would ever be able to look at her the same way again. 

The answer was most definitely _no_ , but Emma finally flashed her a tired smile, nodded. “Sure, go ahead.”

Regina disappeared into the hall and Emma buried her face in her hands, leaned forward into her knees.

_‘If I’m not real, she isn’t either.’_

Could she blame one for the actions of the other? Could she not? And what about when they were one whole person again, what then?

The clack of heels on hardwood alerted her to Regina’s return and she straightened up. The woman timidly crossed the threshold, little white case inlaid with a red cross in tow, and kneeled on the floor in front of the blond’s knees before cracking it open.

She hesitated when she finally had an alcohol drenched cotton swab in hand, concerned eyes darting all over Emma’s face. “Can I--”

“It’s alright. I don’t mind if you touch me.”

“I’m afraid this is going to sting quite a bit.”

And it did but Emma bore it stoically, letting the woman dab at her lip without comment. 

The tenderness in her eyes and the softness of her fingers was almost too much. Finally Emma grit out, “That wasn’t new, was it? You’ve thought about it before. You tried to warn me.”

“Yes. Well-- no, not like that. I’ve... Appreciated you. Entertained the notion. In another life, maybe-- but not that. Never that.”

"How long? How long have you... ‘Entertained the notion’?"

"Always."

Emma raised a sceptical eyebrow. 

"Your smile." Regina's fingers ghosted tenderly over her split lip. "It's Henry's smile. Your eyes are his eyes. And when you laugh, it's Snow's laugh. There was a time when I cherished the sound of it." Those same fingers fluttered down to Emma's chest, the soft gesture so different from her other half's angry clutching. "And this, this is all you. You don't even have to think about it you just charge in and save me, over and over. When I'm with you, it's like I can breathe freely again. I'm safe. I know I can always trust you."

Emma didn’t know what to do with that. She never would have known, given their less than stellar rapport. 

“I’m sorry, that sounds-- It doesn’t mean anything more than what it is.” Regina said quickly, crumpling the cotton ball in her hand. “And I certainly don’t expect a response.

Emma grunted. That was good. She didn’t have one.

There was a sudden heavy knocking, muffled by distance; The front door. Snow and Charming. Emma slipped to her feet, stiff and a little achey. she was going to have some interesting bruises on her backside come morning.

“That’ll be my parents. Thanks for this.” Emma gestured at her face, which was at least no longer bleeding, and Regina smiled. It was sweet, unfettered. Emma could hardly reconcile this woman with the other.

“Anytime.” She snapped the first aid kit shut and clutched it awkwardly. “Right, well let’s not keep them waiting, shall we?”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't you just love when a story flows so easy you can't stop writing? I wish everything came to me this quick. Probably last one for a bit though, I've got work the rest of the week so I won't be able to laze around writing.

"We could just leave her locked up. The dwarves found a new vein of fairy dust. We could hold her indefinitely."

"What? No!"

"Why not?" David slammed a fist down on the table, making the various cutlery and coffee mugs scattered across its surface jump. He could have been the King once again, heading up the strategic planning, if not for the fact that his 'war room' was now a diner and his armor was now faded flannel. "It's perfect. The Queen is locked away for her crimes and," He gestured at the copy of Regina that sat sandwiched between Henry and Emma, looking small in a room full of people who cared very little for her well being, "Henry can keep his mother."

It was said like one might say a child could keep a pet, like Regina was some sort of wayward puppy. Emma waited for the snarky retort, for Regina to say something in her own defence, but it never came; Emma glanced sideways at her and found the woman staring at her own hands with a vague expression of discomfort twisting her face. 

Because of course this half of her couldn't seem to muster up a negative feeling to save her life, at least not any that weren't related to guilt and anxiety.

As if sensing she was being watched soft brown eyes flitted up to meet Emma's own and then her lips stretched in a smile that was capable of lighting up the whole room.

_'I'm safe. I can always trust you.'_

Emma let out an exasperated growl. "She's a person. You can't just... _neuter_ her like that, it's not right."

"And when she's herself again? What then?"

"She'll just be Regina. A woman who saved my life. Marry Margret's too, I'm sure you remember. A little prickly but," Emma shrugged. "Hey, none of us are perfect right?"

Regina's gratitude was palpable but Emma couldn't look at her just then, too afraid she would only see the woman who if not for excellent timing would have done something irrevocable.

 _'Don't prove me wrong.'_ "Gold says they need to have a moment. Some kind of epiphany or understanding or whatever. So, we'll send her in. See what happens." 

She stood, braced herself against the table, unconsciously mirroring her father's authoritative pose. "We're done here."

########

Emma felt cleansed by the cool evening air as she stepped out onto the street and she took a deep breath, filling her lungs with it. Her exhale painted the air white with mist and she tugged the zip of her jacket up snug beneath her chin.

They were still arguing inside the diner, she knew, still trying to get Charming to appeal his daughter's decision. She was sure not a one of them cared if Regina had to spend the rest of her life as only half a person. They thought it was justice. 

Except for maybe Snow. She had been so quiet and restrained through the whole thing it was difficult to say what she was thinking. Emma couldn't read her anymore, not in the easy way she had done with Mary Margaret. In any case she seemed to be the minority.

Maybe they were right. Maybe it would be better for _them_ but Emma couldn't shake the thought of how miserable she herself would be if she had to crawl through the remainder of her existence with only half a personality, always limited by the traits either half had been given. Her pain was a part of her. Her anger was a part of her. It made her who she was as surely as her happiness did.

Then again, she didn't even know the depth of what had been lifted from Regina. She could guess, based on the two's radically different behavior but she didn't know, not really. Perhaps this half of her was truly better off.

But then wouldn't that mean the other was left unbearably miserable? 

The bell over the diner's door tinkled and soft footsteps spilled out, slow, hesitant.

"Emma--"

"You don't have to, you know. If you don't want to. I didn't even think to ask but if you want to stay like this you can. Whatever you want. It's your choice."

"That's sweet dear but I think we both know I _do_ have to. I couldn't even help you when you needed me, I couldn't even-- If Henry hadn't been there-- No. It was nice, for a little while. To be free. But I can't stay like this."

"Okay. Okay."

"Thank you, for--"

"If you wanna thank me, don't make me regret it." Emma turned on her heel so they were facing each other and found Regina was standing closer than she'd thought. She was surprised to note that when the other woman was in flats she herself was actually the taller of the two. The other woman's face was free of makeup and dark hair curled loose almost down to her shoulders now and Emma tried valiantly not to remember how soft it had felt pressed against her cheek. "When you get put back together you damn well better take charge. She'll always be a part of you but she doesn't have to be the voice you listen to. You promise me."

"I'll try... I'm not strong, like she is."

"Yes you are. You've just been buried for too long. It hurts out here in the open air but you'll get used to it."

"I-- I promise."

"Good. Now lets go see if we can't get this thing right before christmas comes around. Henry's got enough jolly for all of us I don't think I can handle two of you."

########  
  
They stood together at the mouth of the mines the three of them, Henry clinging to his mother’s hand like an anchor and Emma with her fists balled up in her pockets, staring into the dark opening with an impassiveness that almost seemed _too_ disinterested. Forced.

Regina wanted dearly to ask her what she was thinking but didn’t dare. After the previous night’s events she felt deeply blessed that the blond was still willing to look at her, to talk to her at all and didn't care to press her luck. 

Once again the Queen had ruined everything.

“Mom?”

“I’m going. I’m just... I’m just scared.”

Henry looked up at her with a puzzled little frown. “But she’s you. You’re scared of yourself?”

Sweet, sweet boy. She turned to trail the fingers of her free hand through the dark strands of his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead. “Sometimes dear, I think that’s the _only_ thing I’m afraid of.”

“You can do it. Brave is just being scared but doing what you got to anyway.”

Regina smiled. “Did Emma teach you that?”

“Well, yeah.” He gave her hand a little squeeze and then let go. “Are you sure I can’t go with you? I could hold your hand the whole time if you want. Maybe that’ll make you feel better.”

“Thank you dear but no. I don’t want you anywhere near her-- Me. Not when I’m like that.”

Henry opened his mouth to protest further but Emma placed a firm hand on either of his shoulders and cut him off. “It’s not really a group thing, kid. She’ll be alright. And we’ll be waiting right here when you come out, okay?”

Her green eyes were warm and reassuring and Regina’s heart did a little dance of delight in spite of herself. “Wish me luck.”

########

They had converted a portion of their fairy dust mines into a suitable cage, eerily reminiscent of the one that had once held Rumpelstiltskin. It was dark and the air was stale and uncirculated and reeked of damp earth. Regina didn’t like the heavy press of stone on all sides, didn’t like the feeling of being trapped. It took her back to times and places she would rather not revisit, even when she wasn’t feeling quite so bare and vulnerable. She couldn’t even imagine how her counterpart felt, stuck behind immovable bars and stripped of all her power.

The woman in question paced round and round, restless and liquid as a caged cat and Regina was reminded of the first time the Charmings had jailed her, prior to the curse. Then she had waited for death. She hadn’t been able to afford to be anything but bored because gods forbid Snow see her weakness, her fear.

Everyone could see it now, she supposed. It had been given legs to walk around on.

The Queen’s pacing stopped when she heard her footsteps, dark eyes turning on her with simmering defiance and Regina felt the chill of fear settling in her gut heavily once more. There was something else there too, an almost magnetic pull. She wanted to be close to her other half in the same breath that she wanted to run away from her.

"An interesting choice. Didn't there used to be more to that?" Regina waved a hand, encompassing the Queen's outfit. Or lack thereof.

The Queen shrugged. "We've always been more comfortable like this, haven't we? Our body is a weapon in and of itself."

"Not more comfortable, I think. It's like a mask; If I put this on, they can't see me. I'm not me at all. I can do whatever I please and it's okay because when I look in the mirror it's not me looking back. I'm safe, locked up inside. At least, that's how _I_ remember it feeling."

"If you say so, dear." The Queen gripped the bars of her cell lazily, rested her face between them. "I think we just like feeling wicked. What brings you here anyway, hmm? Come to gawk? Rehash old times? Braid each others hair and cry about our woes? Mommy never loved you daddy never loved you enough. Why don’t you come in here and let me kiss it better?"

It took all of Regina’s self restraint not to turn tail and flee. “I’m here because as distasteful as you may be you are still a part of me. And it’s a lot easier to keep you from hurting the people I care about when you’re on the inside.”

“What if I would rather remain free?” The Queen’s grip turned white knuckled, teeth bared in a sneer. “What if I’m happy just the way I am? I don’t need you.”

“Do you really think Henry will ever be able to love you as you are?”

“That-- that doesn’t matter.”

The Queen drew back, waving a hand dismissively but Regina knew that she had her. She knew as surely as she knew the sky was blue that no matter what form she was in Henry would always be the best and most important part of her life.

“Of course it does. It’s the only thing that does. You can’t live without him anymore than I can.” 

The other woman turned so all Regina could see of her was the smooth line of her back, her rigid posture. The way her arms wrapped around to hug herself. “What do we have to do?”

"We need to connect, somehow. We need-- I don’t know what we need. To be okay with each other. To accept eachother.”

“That sounds like a very romantic pipe dream dear. We didn’t accept each other when we lived in the same head.”

”Right, well... Why don’t we start with some common ground. We both love Henry."

The hard edge of the Queen’s shoulders softened and she gave a small concurrent bob of her head. "We love Henry."

"I think we might love Emma."

Red lips parted, slammed shut. A hard swallow. "We love Emma."

"We hate..."

"We hate us."

"And Snow?"

"Always Snow, dear. Although she's not as displeasing as she used to be. Someday we might even tolerate her, I think."

"Because we love her too."

The Queen sighed. "Yes, well, hasn't that always been part of the problem? We loved her and she betrayed us. For foolish, selfish reasons."

“Alright, we hate Snow. What else?”

“We want to be happy.”

“I have been. These last few days. It's been almost like before.”

“Well isn’t that just lovely for you?” She turned back to the bars and if she could rip her way through them Regina thought she just might. “All I’ve been is angry all the time. It’s making me crazy. My blood’s on fire. All I feel is pain and-- and heat and I can’t get away from it, I can’t get out. It hurts. It hurts!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“Didn’t know? Of course you didn’t. You’ve been playing happy families with my son, MY son and when he needed you you couldn’t even protect him you weak, pathetic coward. Coward! Leave me. Get out. GET OUT!”

Regina backed away slowly, the sight of her own face so twisted with hate deeply unsettling. It was the worst sort of mirror, the worst sort of reflection.

“OUT! GET OUT!”

Regina turned and forced herself to walk away with calm, even steps, certain the inhuman howls of rage that followed her would stay with her for a long time after.


	6. Chapter 6

Snow had her sleaves rolled up to the elbows and the gentle clinking together of the dishes as she washed them was such a normal sound that it soothed Emma's soul.

For one perfect shining moment the twenty-eight year old woman felt like a child, sitting on top of the kitchen island watching her mother clean up the dinner detritus, swinging her feet without a care in the world.

Except she wasn't a child and through the window over the sink that they both looked out intermittently she could just make out the dangling leg of a woman who was... Something. Something important to Emma although she didn't quite have a definition for it yet.

The fact that Regina had litterally been driven up a tree that she'd refused to come down from even for the promise of food might have been humerous if it wasn't so sad.

Not that she could blame her. She hadn't heard anything of the exchange between the woman's two halves except for the screaming at the end and the darker one's howls was enough to give her goosebumps just in rememberence.

Clearly things hadn't gone well. Although she supposed it had been naively optimistic to think they'd get their shit together on the first try.

Snow was the first to break the comfortable silence they had been basking in, rinsing the plate she'd been scrubbing as she said softly, "She's almost like she was when I first met her. I mean she's missing some pieces. The woman I knew never would have just sat by and let us talk about her future like that."

"Henry thinks it was a clean cut down the middle. Good. Bad." Emma sliced her hands through the air miming a knife. "I don't think it's that simple though. People aren't that simple. And this one definately didn't get all the good stuff. She has no confidence, for one."

"I noticed. You want help coaxing her down, or....?"

"No offense but you're the last person she needs to see right now. I'm just letting her have her space. Worst comes to worst I'll send Henry out. Or I'll get my ladder. Can't be more tricky than that beast Mrs. Gunderson calls a cat. She probably won't try to scratch my eyes out."

"Sherriff Swan to the rescue. I almost miss that. How simple everything was. I like this world. I like not having to fight so hard for every little thing. Sometimes I wish..." Snow trailed off, lifting her shoulders in a helpless little shrug.

"What?"

"That we'd started out here. What would our lives be like if this had always been home?"

Emma shrugged. She'd grown up in the real world but her experience hadn't exactly been typical. Given parents and a sleepy little no where town things would have been different. Wonderful maybe. "I don't know."

########

"Hey."

Emma peered upward into the towering tree's branches but could make out only a vaguely human shaped mass in the darkness that was crawling across the Mayoral back yard. The sun had basically set and the temperature had dropped enough to cause concern should Regina choose to remain in her lofty sanctuary for much longer.

"We're making hot chocolate. I know that's not really your thing but it might make you feel better."

The figure didn't move but Emna heard the huff of a heavy sigh and finally, "I made her, you know."

"How do you mean?"

"After... After Daniel died, after everything-- It was all I could do to wake up in the morning. Even the simple things, the little things were more than I could bare. I was dead too. Dead and buried right along side him only no one ever noticed. I was Queen; Whether I liked it or not I had to sit there and smile, and talk to people and act like I gave a damn about any of it but I couldn't. So I made a wall to hide behind, a frame to prop me up, and I... I checked out."

Emma's heart ached with empathy. She couldn't say she understood completley but she could certainly relate. She knew all too well what it was to wear masks.

"Can she really be blamed for taking what little I left her to work with and running with it?"

Emma wished dearly she had some profound answer to offer, some solution or advise to give. "I don't know if blame is the right thing to put anywhere in this. You were a kid in a shitty situation and you found a way to cope."

"That's hardly an excuse. Em...Emma. I've done things. Horrible things." Regina's voice trembled and Emma wished the woman was close enough to touch. But the that might be awkward given... Well, everything.

"I know."

"And as distant as they seem to me in this moment she lives with their weight constantly. I can't stand to let her suffer it alone. But I can't stand to face her either."

"You want my probably horrible advice?"

"Y-yes."

"You're seperating her from you in your head and you're making her this awful scary thing because she's your 'darkness' or whatever but you know what? It doesn't have to be this negative thing. You're a person. The fact that you have a darkside doesn't make you lesser it just makes you human."

"You make it sound so easy. I can't believe you're still here, to be honest. No one would blame you if you left me to my own devices."

"Yeah, well." Emma scuffed the toe of her boot against the slightly crispy snow on the ground. "I kind of get it, you know? There's things I've done and parts of me that I hate too but in the end that's what makes me me. And it's pretty great. And all your bits make you you. And that's pretty great too."

"Emma..."

"Anyway it's getting pretty late. Nobody's in any immediate danger tonight. Come inside. Have some cocoa with our kid. Watch a movie. Everything else can wait till morning."

There was a creaking of branches and a slithering brush of Regina's thick winter coat against bark and then with more grace than Emma would have given the older woman credit for she made her way back down to earth again.

Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold and the exertion and Emma could just make out slightly watery brown eyes in the warm glow of the kitchen light that spilled out from the window behind them. She smiled that easy smile that Emma had only seen a handful of times now and only on the this particular version and the blond felt herself smile back without even having to think about it. Something in her chest swelled and broke and it was both awful and wonderful because she was in so much trouble if something as simple as a smile could melt her so completely.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A little fluffy squish before the plot gets real. Partly because I need to stretch my writing muscles lol.

She could hear the muffled sounds of the television trickling out of the living room and Henry’s easy laughter and Snow smiled as she finally dried her hands and hung the dishtowel from the stove handle. She was a little pruny from lingering longer than she had really had to but it was worth it to get to share in the peace of the moment, even if from a distance. It felt like home and family and other things she had forgotten she’d wanted.

She met Charming as he was coming in the door, the crisp winter air lingering about his body and making her shiver as she leaned up for a quick kiss.

“Everything’s quiet in the mines.” He said softly, as reluctant to disturb the atmosphere as she was.

Snow didn’t know that it was strictly necessary to post a guard-- The “Queen” as they had taken to calling her was locked up in a cage she had no hope of ever escaping from on her own and she doubted anyone in town would ever dream of breaking her out-- but Charming and the dwarves had set up a shift rotation anyway. Always ready, always cautious.

She grabbed his hand gently in both of hers, warming the cool flesh, and pulled him further into the landing. They had a perfect vantage point to view the living room, where Henry was sprawled on the floor in front of The Amazing Spider Man and the two women he called mom lounged companionably close on the couch.

“Look at them.” She whispered, nudging his shoulder.

“What exactly am I supposed to be seeing here?” He responded in the same low tone. “Other than proof perfect that we should just leave things the way they are? For the first time in what? Forty years? Our family is safe from that woman.”

“Oh Charming. ‘That woman’ _is_ our family. Especially now, with Henry. And you know as well as I do that we can’t sit by while our family needs help. She deserves to be her own person, to make her own decisions with all of her faculties in tact. I meant look at _them_.”

On the television screen Peter Parker was getting beat up by a giant lizard and Regina had buried her face in the blond woman’s shoulder while Emma somewhat awkwardly wrapped an arm around her back. Snow couldn’t see her expression but while she was obviously out of sorts with her current situation she was also just as obviously uncharacteristically content.  

“What? The Evil Queen getting way too handsy with my daughter?”

“No. Yes. It’s-- Our daughter has a family. I mean… Of course we’ll always be here for her. I’ll spend the rest of my life making her feel loved and wanted but it’s never going to be what it was supposed to. I don’t know if she’ll ever call me mom, or feel comfortable with us. It’s nice that she has something of her own.” She smiled in a wistful way that was more Mary Margaret than Snow. “And it’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”

Charming stared at her aghast. “It’s our _daughter_. And the Evil Queen.”

“Exactly. The Savior and the Evil Queen. It’s like…” She smirked, a little sheepish. “A fairy tale.”

“I really don’t think that’s what’s going on here.” He had the same scrunched frowny face that she’d seen often on Emma, when she was trying to figure something out. Or when she had broken a toaster.

In another life she imagined he would have been the sort of father to sit around on the front porch with a shotgun stretched across his lap, gleefully threatening any would be paramour that came calling for his precious little girl.

Or, she supposed, in their version of a perfect world it would have been a sword or bow.

Snow smoothed her fingers over an invisible crease in his shirt, heart brimming with affection. “Maybe not. We should leave anyway, I don’t think there’s anything more we can do here tonight. Emma,” The last she said loudly enough to get the family of three’s attention and Emma popped up to stare at the pair of them over the back of the couch with wide green eyes. She looked almost like a guilty teenager in that moment, caught doing something she shouldn’t.

“We’re gonna go, honey. Call us if you need anything?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Bye gran...gram...granpants.” Henry’s voice was muffled by the pilfered couch pillow his face was now smooshed in and his mothers shared a smile that Snow knew was making Charming distinctly uncomfortable beside her.

“I think it’s someone’s bedtime anyway. Thank you, Snow. For… for everything.”

Snow met brown eyes with a smile of her own. She liked this feeling, like things were on the mend. It might have taken them an actual lifetime and a few tragedies to get there but it was good.

“Of course.”

###############

Regina took a ridiculously long time tucking Henry in, fussing over him as one might do for a much younger child and he was clearly enjoying and wallowing in every second of extra affection.

When she was finally satisfied and left him to share his goodnights with his other mother Emma flopped unceremoniously down at the foot of the boy’s twin bed, narrowly missing his feet.

For a moment she longed wistfully for whole Regina’s no nonsense approach to parenting. What had come so easily to her was something Emma struggled with daily. She felt more like a baby sitter, or that friendly aunt that popped up once in a blue moon to spoil the kid and then go on their merry way. But someone had to talk to the kid and it very clearly wasn’t going to be his real parent. Tough but fair mind-your-manners-youngman Regina had checked out.

“What’s wrong?” Henry sounded far more awake than he had a few moments ago, when Regina had been smoothing his blue comforter over his shoulders.

“We need to have a talk kid. A for really real talk.”

“Okay.” He sat up, the blanket falling away. “What’s up? I mean, I guess, other than the obvious. You know. I’m worried about her too. But tonight was pretty great right? After all the emotional stuff.”

“It’s not that. I mean it is that, but not in the way that you mean.” She rolled over, meeting his slightly quizzical expression with a frown. “You can’t go around manipulating people’s lives like this, Henry. What you did… It’s bad. She can’t be angry with you right now but I am.”

“I was just trying to help.”

Emma sat up, back bone cracking as she did. God she felt old. “How would you feel if I told you there were things about you that I didn’t like and I wanted to remove them? And then did so without your consent?”

“Pretty bad, I guess.” He looked small and guilty with his big eyes and those ears he hadn’t quite grown into yet, slightly too big Superman pajamas hanging down off one shoulder and hair sticking up every which way. She suspected he could understand feelings of inadequacy just as well as she could and that was Emma’s fault that he had ever had to think that way, to wonder if someone had thought he wasn’t good enough. She would feel guilty if he hadn’t ended up in such a loving home, so much better than anything she herself could have provided. “She was just so unhappy. I thought I could make it better. She doesn’t have any friends. She doesn’t go anywhere or… I just thought things could be like they were.”

“So really you were trying to make things better for yourself.”

He flenched at the harsh edge to her tone. “Maybe. A little. I don’t know.”

“You can’t make someone else’s life better, not like that. Taking someone’s choices away and trying to mold them into something you like isn’t helping.” And she suspected from the things she knew that Regina had had enough of that in her life already, greedy fingers twisting her circumstances this way and that trying to meet their own ends. “The best you and I can do is be here for her and let her make her own way in her own time. And most importantly learn to care for her the way she is.”

“So we should try to love her? The other one?”

“We should try to _accept_ her.” Emma corrected, privately thinking that ‘love’ might be a stretch. “And maybe that will help your mom do it too and we can get her back together again.”

Henry sank back onto his pillow and his jaws stretched in a yawn that Emma mirrored without meaning too. It had been such a long day. Such a long few days. Someday she hoped she could have normal problems again. Like how does one food without take-out and paperwork. Beautiful wonderful paperwork for stupid small town crimes.

“I think I can do that. For mom.”

Emma stood and stretched out aching muscles. Her head still vaguely throbbed and she had weird bruises that she’d just as soon forget and that guest bed that looked way nicer than anything she’d ever slept on before was screaming her name. “Alright. Get some sleep kid. I think I’ve had enough being the smart one for today.”

She made a show of re-tucking him in, earning herself an adorable little giggle in the process as she fluffed the blanket around his shoulders and tickled at his arms.

“You’re not so bad at it, you know? The mom thing. I mean I guess you’re kinda more like a dad maybe? But that’s cool.”

“Thanks. I think.”


	8. Chapter 8

When Emma awoke to the sight of big brown eyes staring intently down at her she very nearly had a heart attack. "Um. Hi."

"You slept for ages. I wanted to wake you but you looked so peaceful I... Well I _didn't_ want to wake you."

Emma blinked owlishly, lids still heavy from sleep. "What time is it?"

"Eight thirty."

"Oh crap." Emma rolled over onto her belly and levered herself out of bed with what felt like a great effort. Regina took a quick step back to allow the woman enough room to rise. "Where's Henry?"

"At school where I dropped him off half an hour ago."

At Emma's raised eyebrows Regina huffed and pursed her lips. "Believe it or not I am still a fully functional adult."

Emma raised her hands in surrender. "Of course you are. Never doubted you for a second."

They stood awkwardly for a moment, Emma shifting back and forth on her barefeet. “So, ummmm…”

“Oh! You want to get dressed. I’m sorry. I made breakfast. Whenever you're ready. I’ll just--” She gestured vaguely at the doorway before disappearing through it in a flustered red faced mess. Emma’s eyebrows climbed her forehead. When the woman was herself again and it didn’t feel mean to tease her Emma was going to have fodder for days.

When she stumbled downstairs roughly ten minutes later, stuffing the tail of her shirt in her jeans as she yawned wide, she found the other woman fussing over two cups of coffee and a counter top stacked high with what Emma suspected was every breakfast food known to man. Pancakes, waffles, bacon, eggs in several different variations. She blinked and rubbed her eyes even as the smell hit her nose and her mouth began to water. Was she still dreaming? “When you said you cooked I didn’t think you meant the entire kitchen.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you and I wasn’t sure what you liked. By the time Henry pointed out that you pretty much like everything as long as it’s food it was too late.”

“No complaints here. Left overs are a beautiful thing.” Emma tucked in while Regina watched her with the air of a bird about to take flight. Emma mustered up a smile. “Seriously, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

Regina beamed and Emma fidgeted uncomfortably beneath the continued scrutiny. “Soooo… You have a game plan for today? Not that there’s any rush, I guess.”

“I was thinking I would go to my vault. I would like to research the spell that did this. I’m sure Rumpel didn’t tell us everything. There may be other solutions, loopholes. Consequences even. It will put me more at ease to know exactly what I’m dealing with.”

She continued to stare at Emma in a way that was almost expectant and the Savior swallowed her current bite. She quirked an eyebrow, thinking she knew what the woman wanted but apparently couldn’t bring herself to ask for. “Did you ah, want company?”

“Oh. Well. If you wanted. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Sure. I can take a few hours. I’ve got Deputies… Deputy-ing. I can be magic research girl with you for a bit.”

“Excellent. Thank-you.”

“You can just ask, you know? I don’t mind.”

Regina shifted nervously on her feet and Emma realized she was in flats again, and the usually larger than life woman looked small and soft in a tee-shirt and jean combo that the Savior never would have thought resided in her closet. “You’ve done so much for me already. I worry about letting it become too much.”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Emma groaned, essentially inhaling an entire plate of bacon. She continued, cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk’s, “Hell keep feeding me like this and you might never get rid of me ever. If any savior-ing needs done you can just roll me out to deal with it.”

The brunette tucked her loose curling hair behind her ears and smiled, nervous edge evaporating.

###########

Leroy was snoring at his post and Henry only hesitated for a moment before trundling quietly past him and down into the mines, courage bolstered with the knowledge that he probably didn’t have very much time before someone realized he wasn’t where he was supposed to be and came looking. He felt guilty for going behind his mothers’ back yet again but it was necessary in this case. He had a mission and he knew no one would let him get close if he asked.

Better to beg forgiveness. He had picked that up from Emma too though she probably wouldn’t be glad to know it.

The woman who was his mom but not quite was sitting slumped against the back wall of her cell staring vacantly at the far wall and for a moment he wondered if she had somehow fallen asleep with her eyes open but then she was blinking at him, lurching stiffly to feet that didn’t seem quite solid underneath her.

“Henry! What on earth are you doing here? You should be in school.”

Someone had had the foresight to bring in lanterns-- more for the guards than her he supposed-- and the harsh orange light cast her anger in sharp relief.

“I was. And then I wasn’t.”

“Can those idiots do nothing right? They let a little boy, _my_ son, wander around alone!”

“You dropped me off. You-- She-- even watched me go in. But when has that ever stopped me?” He grinned guiltily and she fumed with indignation and she was so very much his mother in that moment that he couldn’t feel sorry for it.

“You shouldn’t be here. I don’t want you here.”

He ignored her because while he may not have had Emma’s super power he could still tell that wasn’t entirely true. She drank in the sight of him like a woman drowning, hands clenching and unclenching in what he was sure was desire to reach out and touch him.  

"I brought you something." Henry slung his backpack off his shoulders and rifled through its contents, full of everything but his school books, and the Queen watched with raised brows until he emerged, triumphant with his hands wrapped around a candy bar and a comic book. There was a giant "4" on the cover over top the depiction of the super hero team fighting some monster or other.

"I thought you might be bored. And I got your favorite."

She looked down at the chocolate -- _Snickers_ \-- blankly as it was shoved into her palm, the boy's expression ever hopeful.

When she failed to respond to his gifts his face fell. "I should have brought more you're probably hungry. I can bring-"

"You shouldn't be here, Henry."

"Why not?" He jutted out his lower lip in a fair imitation of his blond mother. "You won't hurt me."

"I killed my own father to bring us here. Are you truly certain of that statement?"

"I know what you're doing."

"And what exactly is that, Dear?"

"You're trying to push me away. Well it won't work."

"Won't it? You have the mother you wanted. What could you possibly want with _me_?"

"I'm accepting all of you."

She laughed low and deep and it didn't quite sound like anything he had ever heard from his mother before. At least not directed at him. "You've been talking to the idiots. They're naive idealism won't work here, Henry. I'm bad." She slammed her palms against the bars and he involuntarily jumped backwards. "You can't fix me, you can't love me better. I'm _bad_!"

"So am I." Henry sat down on his re-zipped backpack, knees tight to his chest. "But _you_ still love _me_."

"Oh Henry. Of course you're not, why would you think--"

"I did this to you. And I know I say mean things sometimes. I didn't mean to make you feel like you weren't good enough but I did. So see? I'm bad too. And that's okay. I mean it’s not _okay_ but it’s not all of me."

"You're a child. It doesn't compare."

"I'm old enough." The pout was back, green eyes fierce. He flipped through the comic she'd refused, breathing in the new-page smell. "I don't understand why you like the Fantastic Four."

She wasn't expecting the complete one-eighty. "I-- What?"

"The Fantastic Four. I know you read them. They're like, seriously the lamest of all the super heroes."

He held it out to her and this time she took it. "I'm partial to the Thing. I relate."

He wrinkled his nose. "Really? I would have said Batman. You're very anti-hero lately."

"I'm anti-something alright." Her lips twisted wryly and she flipped to the first page. "I never realized you knew I read these."

"Duh, you're my mom. I know a lot about you. Not enough I guess. But I wanna learn? If you'll tell me."

“I’m not going to get rid of you, am I?”

“Nope.”

“How charming, that you’ve inherited so much of Miss Swan’s stubbornness. I suppose there’s something to be said for nature after all.” She put a particular emphasis on the word _charming_ , clearly enjoying her own pun and he rolled his eyes in a way that was definitely not Emma.

“Actually I think I get it from you.”

They stared at one another, neither willing to give an inch, and she sighed. “Touche.”

“You changed your hair.” He wrinkled his nose, once again changing the subject with the lack of focus only a child could possess and and she idly twirled a dark strand around the fingers of her free hand, shrugging. It hung loose down her back now, freed during the night from its previous top knot by angry fingers running through it as she paced the confines of her prison.

“I prefer it.”

“Really? It’s nice. I mean I like it the other way too. You did it with magic didn’t you? You could probably leave it that way if you wanted, when you’re you again.”

“Henry, you really need to leave. I don’t want you here.” She said again with increased desperation, as though she hoped repeating it would make it true.

The boy folded his arms stubbornly across his chest but further protestations on his part were cut off by an angry rumbling of shifting stones. They both looked up at the ceiling, each remembering their last experience with the mines what felt like ages ago. Would they really have put her down here, Henry wondered, if there was any question about the structure’s stability?

“Henry!” Regina threw herself uselessly at the bars of her prison and Henry toppled off his perch on his backpack as the ground shook again. Then the world turned to choking dust and darkness.

**  
  
  
  
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